Beauty out of Ashes

We sang "Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee" on Sunday morning at church.  Most people are aware that the tune was written by Beethoven.  It's from the last movement of his Ninth Symphony.  The words in the original are a little different, and more secular, but when you listen to the music you really do hear the joy in it.  It's triumphant, upbeat, and it's little wonder that so many people love it.  The words in English, written much later,  are especially encouraging as well.

What you may not know is the backstory of the composer.  Beethoven lived about the same time as Mozart.  His father was an alcoholic.  He would go out late drinking, and when he got home very late he would wake up little Ludvig and make him practice until dawn.  Beethoven was so gifted that he was dubbed "the next Mozart" when he was a child.  But his alcoholic father couldn't keep a job, and Beethoven had to quit school at age 11 so that he could support his family.  He was the first composer to be able to do that, and was a gifted pianist.  He became quite famous--and then tragedy struck.  You probably do know that he lost his hearing.  He began losing it at about 26 years of age--at the height of his performing career.  This would be akin to an NBA basketball player having a career-ending injury; Beethoven was devastated.  Medical doctors were not much help back then, either. 

The combination of Beethoven's dysfunctional family and the tragedy of his deafness combined to make Beethoven emotionally unstable at times.  He had a horrible temper, and lacked social skills.  For instance, he once dumped an entire plate of veal on a waiter in a restaurant because he gave him the wrong order.  Beethoven was a perfectionist about his music and had little patience.  When you see pictures of him as an adult, you see an intense personality.  You also see someone who, for the time period, was not concerned about his outward appearance.  He moved several times and never married.

If you were choosing someone to be used of God based on outward appearances, Beethoven would probably not be at the top of your list.  But, thankfully, God is not like us.  Beethoven wrote the 9th Symphony when he was completely deaf.  He was so deaf that he had the legs sawed off a piano so that he could feel the vibrations when he played.  Once, while directing a concert, the music was finished, but Beethoven, who was behind the performers, still conducted, and had to be turned around to take a bow.  But all of his limitations could not prevent some of the most beautiful, powerful and encouraging music to be written.  God has used it to encourage people through the centuries.

You may be in a situation right now where you think you are too damaged or too sinful or too weak or too (fill in the blank) to be used of God.  You may think your past has disqualified you from being used by Him.  You may have recently experienced tragedy or loss and see no hope.  Be encouraged by this song--written by a flawed but brilliant composer--and focus on the message of the words:

Joyful, joyful, we adore Thee, God of glory, Lord of love;
Hearts unfold like flowers before Thee, opening to the sun above.
Melt the clouds of sin and sadness; drive the dark of doubt away;
Giver of immortal gladness, fill us with the light of day!

All Thy works with joy surround Thee, earth and heaven reflect Thy rays,
Stars and angels sing around Thee, center of unbroken praise.
Field and forest, vale and mountain, flowery meadow, flashing sea,
Singing bird and flowing fountain call us to rejoice in Thee.

Thou art giving and forgiving, ever blessing, ever blessed,
Wellspring of the joy of living, ocean depth of happy rest!
Thou our Father, Christ our Brother, all who live in love are Thine;
Teach us how to love each other, lift us to the joy divine.

Mortals, join the happy chorus, which the morning stars began;
Father love is reigning o’er us, brother love binds man to man.
Ever singing, march we onward, victors in the midst of strife,
Joyful music leads us Sunward in the triumph song of life.

If you've not heard the original, here is a video:

 

Staying Afloat

Apparently I am like my beloved pastor--this post and my last post have some alliteration.  Although, to be an exact alliteration, this should be called "Staying in the Pool."  But I digress....

This summer I have been taking Physical Therapy, and got approved to do Pool Therapy at a local gym as a part of it.  I have always had a complicated relationship with water; I had a swimsuit for social reasons, but I never learned to swim.  In fact, I couldn't even float.  My dear husband tried to teach me on our honeymoon, but gave up, saying that I "swam like a rock."  Looking back, I think there are three reasons I couldn't swim:

1. There were no public pools where I grew up as a kid.  You could belong to the YMCA, but it wasn't affordable.  So, in my youth, when I probably would have been more fearless, I didn't really get exposed to water.
2. A bad experience--I got too close to deeper water at a pool party in high school and had to be pulled out as I was going down for the third time...scary AND embarrassing...
3. Of all the reasons I couldn't swim, I think this is the most important one:  I DID NOT BELIEVE THE WATER WOULD HOLD ME UP.  Combine bad water experiences, inexperience and some angst about my weight--and when I would lean back, I would immediately panic.  Whether the water was capable of holding me up was irrelevant; my lack of belief made it so that I couldn't float.

This so reminds me of many times in my spiritual walk.  It was hard to trust God when I was a new Christian and the experiences of life can make it hard for faith to grow as well.  But more often than not, my faith difficulty comes from a lack of belief.  I have the whole Bible that tells me about the what God has done and can do---but I had trouble trusting Him to get me through everything from potty training to my youngest being a senior this year.   The fact that God can do what He says He will do doesn't mean much if I don't believe.  Not that my belief is what causes God's power--but my lack of belief is like unplugging an electrical cord; the result is an absence of His power and provision.  God's plan and purpose are still fulfilled--but I don't always get what He intends.

So, back to Pool Therapy, now.  I went on a Saturday to the pool to practice my exercises.  It just so happened that no one else was there.  One of the exercises I had to do at the time was doing bicycle kicks in the water while I supported myself on the pool steps.  I noticed that when I tried to kick, that my legs were almost trying to float and I thought to my self--"I wonder... could I actually float?"  I decided to lay back into the water, and I tightened my abs--AND I FLOATED.  Not just once, either!  I can now propel myself through the water, too.   I wouldn't quite call it swimming, though; I prefer to think if it as "floating with style."  (with apologies to Pixar).

I'd prefer not to tell you how many years I haven't been able to float--but it's been quite a few. I thought about why I could do this, and I came up with three reasons there as well:
1. I was alone.  You have no idea how embarrassing it is to be the only person who can't swim.  Being alone gave me the confidence to try something I'd failed at before again.
2. I changed my thinking and tried something I hadn't tried before.  Instead of thinking "I can't do this!" I thought "I wonder if I could" and tried a new approach.
3. By far the most important reason that I could float this time was that I GAVE MYSELF COMPLETELY TO THE WATER.  I leaned all the way back.  I got my hair wet.  Water got in my ears.  And I relaxed. 

My lack of ability to float had nothing to do with the ability of the water to hold me up.  Every time I go to the pool now I am reminded of how capable the water is in that capacity.  It had everything to do with what I believed.  When I changed my belief, it changed what I could do.  Yes, I can kick my feet and move my arms--but without the ability to float, they aren't worth much. 

Spiritually, this is so much the same.  My faith is much more effective when I get in a quiet place and pray, and when I change my thinking by meditating on His Word.  But the most important thing I have to do is BELIEVE.  That's why in Hebrews it says that without faith it is impossible to please God.  But when we have faith in Him, in his ability to do what He says He will do, we can walk on water, in a sense, like Peter.  This year has been very challenging; there have been many times when I have felt like the storms were  going to overwhelm me--but because I have spent time in His Word, prayed and changed my thinking, He has and is literally keeping me afloat.  That's right--He is doing it.  Not me!

 I love going to the pool now--in fact, I hate to get out.  I love that feeling of floating, and the ability to do something I couldn't before.  It causes me to ask what my life would be like if I applied the same measure of faith to the rest of my life--what could I be doing if only I totally leaned on Him?  I sure want to find out!  Don't you?  Grab your swimsuit and dive in! 
I'll either be in the pool--or the Jacuzzi! 

Staying Power

My parents just celebrated their 57th anniversary on July 14th.  I have always thought it was a humorous coincidence that their anniversary was also Bastille Day--but the more I think about it, the more I think it is fitting.  In today's society, staying with anything for that long is indeed revolutionary.  In fact, staying with anything is an anomaly in our current society--be it a job, a service provider or a relationship.  My wireless provider, for instance, will let me upgrade my phone every six months, for crying out loud (provided I shell out the full price for the phone, of course).  Society is moving at the speed of light, and in this environment perseverance is a foreign concept.  But in thinking about my parents, I have discovered some benefits to a long-term relationship. 

Here they are:

1. Deeper friendships.  My parents not only have been married 57 years, they attended the same church for over 50 years (I detecting a pattern, aren't you?).  Because they were so actively involved in the church, and because all of my grandparents were out of town, the folks in that church became like family.  Since I am an only child, the kids I grew up with in that church are like brothers and sisters.  I saw some of them recently, and remarked that it was so good to see them at something besides a funeral!  I know my parents wouldn't trade these friendships for anything--and neither would I.

2. Better health.   My parents are in their 80s, and my dad shows few signs of slowing down.  My mother recently had to be put in a care facility, but I know that she was able to be home longer because of my dad's care.  Things have not always been perfect for my family, but I really think that my parents' long-term marriage has protected them from some major stress, and therefore some major health issues.  People tell me how lucky I am to still have both parents--and I agree.

3. Respect.  I have noticed that whenever someone has a 50th anniversary, that a great deal of respect is given them.  I think that's because we all know that marriage can be very difficult, and that not everyone lives long enough to get to this milestone.  I have also noticed that in most cases, someone will ask for advice on how to stay married for a long time from these folks.  The assumption is that there is some magical formula for staying married, but I think my parents' long marriage is a result of two things: commitment and their faith in God. 

4. Deeper love.  My parents have always loved each other (in fact, they were the parents that embarrassed their teenage daughter by kissing in front of her), but it takes a special love to stay married to someone when they are older, I think.  My dad has been so devoted to my mom as she has struggled with her health; he goes to visit her at her care facility almost every day.  He has always brought roses in from the yard for her, and he has never forgotten an anniversary, birthday or holiday.  My mother always took care of herself and patiently watched sports with my dad (who is one of the few people I know to make being an armchair quarterback an aerobic event--especially when KU is playing!).  There is a more mature, more patient and more selfless love that comes with living with someone for many years and experiencing life together, and my parents found that.

Now, I don't want you to get the idea that my parents are perfect, or that they never had a disagreement.  They, like most people who are married are completely different; Mother is a detail-oriented person who is very reserved, and Dad is a gregarious, boisterous fellow who looks more at the big picture.  The bottom line is that they chose to stay together, and they chose every day to love each other.  All of those days added up to years, and now, looking back, they make a beautiful picture of the kind of love God has for us.  God wants us to be in a long-term relationship with Him--to know Him deeply, intimately and to develop his kind of love.  The agape love that is selfless, giving and timeless.  This kind of relationship takes an investment of time, but the benefits are eternal.  In fact, you could even say they are revolutionary.

Remembering the Past to Help the Present

I recently relived my childhood; I went with my youngest son to see "Mr. Peabody & Sherman."  While we both enjoyed it, I enjoyed it for a completely different reason than my son--I watched the original on television as part of the "Rocky and Bullwinkle Hour."  This was one of my favorites of the shorts in the series, because of the historical characters and the humor. (My son says Mr. Peabody's puns are like mine--but his are better.  Kids keep you humble.)  Here is what Mr. Peabody and Sherman looked like when I was a kid:

Here is the updated version:

 

 

As I thought about reliving the past, it occurred to me that most of the time, we have a negative image of that.  I agree that remembering past hurts and painful experiences can often lead to anger, resentment and bitterness.  But remembering the happy times is much different, even helpful--especially when you are going through a difficult experience. 

The Bible even encourages us to remember things--Samuel built a stone and called it the Ebenezer, or "stone of rememberance."  Joshua made a monument of 12 stones after they crossed the Jordan on dry land.  Remembering what God has done in the past is seen as being a building block to helping us through circumstances we are going through now.  The idea is that we know God was faithful then, so we can be confident He will be faithful to get us through our present circumstances.

You may be going through something difficult today.  I have been as well--but then I remember back to times in my life that were difficult, and how God got me through them, and it gives me confidence that today--and beyond I can count on Him.  Lamentations 3:22-23 is my favorite verse.  It says "It is because of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed.  They are new every morning.  Great is Your faithfulness.   Indeed.

When Why Has No Answer

I have always been inquisitive; I don't remember much from toddlerhood, but I am sure I asked the question "why?" quite often.  I've always wanted to know not only the answer, but why it is true.  For instance, I think how instruments make sound is fascinating.   I'm also a hands-on learner; I want to feel, touch and explore things to learn about them.

The problem with this is that not everything can be understood in this way.  In fact, sometimes the question "why?" has no answer.   Or, it's an answer we simply can't comprehend.   Right now I am dealing with some health issues; the most frustrating part is that every test comes back "normal", "negative", or "unremarkable."  But I still have pain.   I know many people with worse problems, who still have no answer.  The question is, "What do we do?"

The correct answer, of course, is to turn to God---but we don't just turn to Him and yell for help.  We need to turn to His Word and re-learn the truth it contains.   I'm really not much of a crier---I seldom cry at movies or other emotional times, but I have for the past month.   Part of it was changes in medication---but a lot of it has been giving God my emotions and focusing on HisTruth. I'm reading a book now by Sheila Walsh called "The Storm Inside," and it's about this very thing---giving our emotions to God and applying His Word to our lives.   I think as women we do let emotions overtake us, and it's been a real encouragement to me.

I guess the bottom line when we don't have an answer to the question why is because we don't need to know the answer right now; we just need to trust God's promises and watch Him work for His glory.

Disappointment--and Happiness

I just read a book about dealing with disappointment.  We all experience it--although, I think our society sometimes glamorizes things so much that we think experiencing disappointment means there is something wrong with us.  But if we think about it, disappointment is a part of life, because none of us is perfect--and therefore, we all have the capacity to disappoint each other.  It is initially devastating, however--especially if you have not experienced a significant disappointment.  I remember the first time I was truly, absolutely disappointed in someone; it took me several days to get over it--and longer than that not to think about the disappointment with a mixture of anger and sadness.  Most of the time, we are at fault with disappointment--someone didn't do something we expected them to do.  We often have unrealistic expectations of others, and then are disappointed when they don't meet them.  I remember being newly married--it was wonderful, but at the same time I learned very quickly that it was not what I expected.  My husband will tell you the same thing.  Thankfully, we had taken a class about different personalities, so we knew that our actions toward each other were not a deliberate attempt to make the other feel bad or disappointed, but simply the result of us responding with our strengths.  We, like most couples are quite different--but we have learned (and are still learning) to accept and celebrate our differences.

I also think part of the reason we get disappointed is our concept of happiness.  I received "Despicable Me 2" as a Christmas present.  I love the music in this movie--especially this song, called, appropriately "Happy:"

 

Gru in this video is uncharacteristically happy--because he's "in love."  But all too soon, Gru's happiness is dashed--the gal he loves is being reassigned to Australia.  One of the more poignant parts of the movie is Gru going back through all of these locations--with a completely different reaction to the same people.  Happiness is great for the moment, but rarely lasts.  We are miserable, in fact, if we try to base our life on being happy.  That's why the Bible talks about joy; joy is knowing God is in control--no matter what is happening in our circumstances.  Philippians Chapter 2 talks about how Christ was able to endure the cross--it was for the joy set before him.  He wasn't joyful about what was going to happen to him on the cross--but about God's plan being fulfilled.   Now, don't get me wrong--I like being happy and love making others happy; but it's a fleeting emotion, not a building brick for life.

 

Life has ups and downs--but we don't have to go up and down with each circumstance.  I'm so grateful that God is sovereign and merciful.  I know that I disappoint Him often, but that His mercies are new every morning.  His faithfulness is great--and He will never disappoint.