I've been thinking a lot about stamina lately. My youngest son is a distance runner on the track team at his high school; I'm absolutely amazed that he even wants to do that, because I have asthma--and think I've had it as a kid because I never was able to run long without becoming short of breath. I've noticed, however, that the more he runs, the longer he is able to run. He's built up quite a bit of stamina after running every day after school and on weekends, and it really helps his focus.
It's the start of the 4th quarter at my school, and I've been talking to the kids about stamina as well; 4th quarter is a test of stamina for kids and teachers alike for many reasons. First, we only have one day off this quarter---compared to several days off in 3rd quarter for snow days, conferences, holidays and Spring Break. The weather gets nice, and those wiggly little bodies have such a hard time focusing on learning. And the teachers have so much to do before the end of the year---so we end up having a real test of stamina all the way around! Those of you that work with kids know exactly what I mean, and those of you that work in a quiet office cannot comprehend the challenge of getting 25 students to concentrate when they know the end is near---just multiply your anticipation of vacation times infinity, and you will begin to understand.
My personal struggle with stamina is with patience. I have always hated waiting; when I was little, waiting for Santa was excruciating. When I was single, waiting for my sweet husband was unbearable. But my biggest struggle with patience is what I like to think of as long-term patience--what the Bible calls being long-suffering. For example, at school, I can be pretty patient with our Kindergarteners, because many of them are inexperienced with school and really don't know how to act. But by the time they get to Fifth grade, I expect better results, and have more frustration----even though I know that developmentally things affect their behavior. At home, the first time I correct one of my boys, I'm pretty patient--but after the 250th time, it gets wearing (and often well before that!).
But while I have grown in patience, I am nowhere near Christ's example. In pondering Holy Week, and preparing for Easter, I am most amazed at Christ's patience on the cross. Crucifixion was designed to inflict the most pain and humiliation possible for the longest time---and before that Christ was lashed and beaten, humiliated, rejected and forsaken. And, if that wasn't bad enough, God forsook Him as well. And why? So you and I could have a relationship with God. And were we worthy? Loveable? On His side? NO! What's even more astounding is that at any point, He could have said, "That's it! I'm not going to take it anymore." He could have ordered thousands of angels to destroy those who were torturing Him. He could have made Earth a crater. But he didn't. Why? Because he loved me. Because He loved you.
Love is the true key to patience. The Bible says, "Love covers a multitude of sins." It also gives us stamina, because true love is not a feeling, it's a commitment. My husband and I will celebrate our
25 th anniversary this fall. While we still have warm fuzzies for each other, the real reason we are still together is about commitment. The reason we still love our boys is about commitment. The real reason I can go to work every day and love those little live wires is because of commitment. And the reason I have a relationship with Christ and can celebrate Easter is because of Christ's commitment. The Bible says God initiated it, and that it is only because of God that we are able to love Him.
It is fitting that the Bible calls life a race; it's a marathon, and we need to train ourselves in His Word so that we can cross the finish line with success. We have an audience in heaven watching, cheering us in, and a personal trainer called the Holy Spirit. Training is hard, but the rewards in eternity are worth it. And the best part? Jesus has shown us how to do it.
May you have a blessed Easter and renew your awe in Christ's sacrifice and celebrate that He is risen and coming again!
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Making the Grade
I'm thinking about grades today; that's because where we are; it is Spring Break, and the quarter ended last week. I have until Monday at 11:30 am to get grades for 445 elementary students on the computer, so that grade cards can be printed off. And, I should mention, that I grade my students in four areas: Participation, Behavior, Skill and Knowledge. I also give them a letter grade for effort. So, you can see that they are heavy on my mind.
I'm rather conflicted about grades, really. I grew up in a home where they were important, and I always tried to get good grades. But grades don't always tell the whole story; for example, Elvis Presley received a C in his eighth grade music class! I also have a friend who plays guitar incredibly well and writes his own songs--and he failed music in elementary school. While I think we do a much better job now of assessing where students are, it is very hard to communicate all the complexity of learning and achievement that happens in the classroom. That's why I dislike intensely standardized tests and high-stakes testing.
This is not to say that I don't have high expectations for students or that I think there should be no standards. I think excellence is sorely needed in our current culture, but I also think we all get there in different ways. It's a combination of hard work, motivation, and finding your strengths. What I want to avoid is telling any student that they are a failure; and I work very hard to find a way for them to succeed.
I think many people believe that God grades "on a curve," that He weighs our good and our bad and that if they both equal out, that we are going to pass His class. That, however, is not God's standard--he gives all sin a big, fat "F," because His standard is holiness. His standard is Himself. There is no difference between a white lie and murder to Him--they all are sin and miss the standard. We have no hope of passing His test on our own; that's why we need Jesus. After we accept what Jesus has done, God gives us a passing grade--not because of what we have done, but because Jesus took the excruciating final exam for all of us. His whole life was preparation for it; and he passed the test with flying colors. Remember that Jesus asked if he could substitute his assignment for something else in the Garden of Gethsemane; he knew just how excruciating it would be, and, in his humanity, he wanted to have another assignment. But, He accepted God's assignment for Him, and now we have the opportunity to enroll in the curriculum of Heaven.
While God did not make us take the ultimate test for our sin, once we enroll in his class, he does give pop quizzes on a regular basis. They are called trials. Sometimes they are trivial things, like having to wait in line, and sometimes they are huge, ugly things, like cancer. But the Bible says they are for our good. From a teacher's point of view, assessments in class are designed for the purpose of seeing if the instruction was effective; I tell my students that a test is a way for me to see if I have been doing my job correctly, and if they have been doing their job correctly. God gives us tests in a similar manner--he wants to know if we have passed his curriculum found in Galations 5: goodness, faithfulness, kindness, meekness, patience, love and all the rest. And he is so patient: He will give the same test multiple times until we pass it. We don't get the opportunity to skip one, because each test is designed to make us more like Him. At the end of our test, we only receive a pass or fail grade. This is true at the end of life as well; the test of our life won't be how much money we made, what kind of house we lived in, or what kind of car we drove (or if we wrote a blog!). The final exam will be whether or not we accepted Jesus, and what we did for eternal causes.
Take it from one who has passed some tests, is still cramming for others and has had many re-takes; God enrolls us in his classroom for our best, and wants more than anything for us to pass. So, if you have to re-take a test, don't worry. It just means that your Teacher wants you to graduate to Glory.
I'm rather conflicted about grades, really. I grew up in a home where they were important, and I always tried to get good grades. But grades don't always tell the whole story; for example, Elvis Presley received a C in his eighth grade music class! I also have a friend who plays guitar incredibly well and writes his own songs--and he failed music in elementary school. While I think we do a much better job now of assessing where students are, it is very hard to communicate all the complexity of learning and achievement that happens in the classroom. That's why I dislike intensely standardized tests and high-stakes testing.
This is not to say that I don't have high expectations for students or that I think there should be no standards. I think excellence is sorely needed in our current culture, but I also think we all get there in different ways. It's a combination of hard work, motivation, and finding your strengths. What I want to avoid is telling any student that they are a failure; and I work very hard to find a way for them to succeed.
I think many people believe that God grades "on a curve," that He weighs our good and our bad and that if they both equal out, that we are going to pass His class. That, however, is not God's standard--he gives all sin a big, fat "F," because His standard is holiness. His standard is Himself. There is no difference between a white lie and murder to Him--they all are sin and miss the standard. We have no hope of passing His test on our own; that's why we need Jesus. After we accept what Jesus has done, God gives us a passing grade--not because of what we have done, but because Jesus took the excruciating final exam for all of us. His whole life was preparation for it; and he passed the test with flying colors. Remember that Jesus asked if he could substitute his assignment for something else in the Garden of Gethsemane; he knew just how excruciating it would be, and, in his humanity, he wanted to have another assignment. But, He accepted God's assignment for Him, and now we have the opportunity to enroll in the curriculum of Heaven.
While God did not make us take the ultimate test for our sin, once we enroll in his class, he does give pop quizzes on a regular basis. They are called trials. Sometimes they are trivial things, like having to wait in line, and sometimes they are huge, ugly things, like cancer. But the Bible says they are for our good. From a teacher's point of view, assessments in class are designed for the purpose of seeing if the instruction was effective; I tell my students that a test is a way for me to see if I have been doing my job correctly, and if they have been doing their job correctly. God gives us tests in a similar manner--he wants to know if we have passed his curriculum found in Galations 5: goodness, faithfulness, kindness, meekness, patience, love and all the rest. And he is so patient: He will give the same test multiple times until we pass it. We don't get the opportunity to skip one, because each test is designed to make us more like Him. At the end of our test, we only receive a pass or fail grade. This is true at the end of life as well; the test of our life won't be how much money we made, what kind of house we lived in, or what kind of car we drove (or if we wrote a blog!). The final exam will be whether or not we accepted Jesus, and what we did for eternal causes.
Take it from one who has passed some tests, is still cramming for others and has had many re-takes; God enrolls us in his classroom for our best, and wants more than anything for us to pass. So, if you have to re-take a test, don't worry. It just means that your Teacher wants you to graduate to Glory.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
High school memories--with a 21st century twist
I have to tell you about the most fun part of my day. My youngest son asked me to provide transportation for an activity sponsored by our church's youth group. This was a big deal, because this is the son who for years did not want me to come to such events because he feared I would embarrass him. My naturally gregarious personality and loud voice is to blame for that--as well as my love of teasing him. He's so great to tease because I always get a reaction. :) So, I was thrilled to be invited. And I must tell you I have worked extra hard not to embarrass him. I was more excited to find out that the activity was one I did with my church youth group years ago. With the gap in our ages and the changes that have occured in the past 30+ years, it really is difficult to find such a thing. The activity was a photo scavenger hunt. I told my son that we had done that years ago with Polaroid cameras. His next question was "What's a Polaroid camera?" So, I had to explain how the first instant camera worked. We picked up a friend of his that we've known for years and headed to church.
When we got there, the assistant youth pastor in charge gave us the rules (be safe, don't embarrass yourself or the church--the usual things said at an event like this) and then gave us a paper with the following list of pictures that we were supposed to obtain. In case you work with teens and need a great idea, here they are:
Adventure Time
Recess
Best Place to Study
Fictional Character
Favorite Restaurant
Best Hangout
Celebrity Photo
Movie Scene
Altitude
Very little description was given of the categories so that the groups could be creative. While I loved this activity as a kid, I have to tell you as an educator that this is exactly what employers are looking for in what they call "21st-century skills;" this activity required collaboration, creativity, problem-solving and time management in order to succeed. I love it when ideas are timeless! :)
My son ended up in a group with three other young men that he's known at least since elementary school. One of the boys was born twelve hours before him, and I grew up with his mother. So, I've had the great privilege of watching these friends bond and grow up through the years. They are just great guys--polite, smart, funny and, in general, everything that is the opposite of what you generally hear about teenage boys. Their first step was to look at the list, come up with ideas, and plan an itinerary. Then, we started on our great adventure.
Before I tell you about our first stop, I should tell you that it is Spring Break where we are. You may imagine Spring Break where you are being warm and conducive to outside activities, such as driving a group of boys around for a photo scavenger hunt. However, the weather today did not meet the standard. We are not in the polar regions or the Northeast, but it is not uncommon for us to get snow in January and February--and we had four snow days this year and in most of the surrounding school districts. March is a mixed bag in these parts--some years it's warm, and some years it's more like winter. Today we had big snowflakes coming down as we began our adventure with four teen boys, ranging in height from 5 feet, 8 inches tall to above 6 feet, with their 5 foot, 5 inch driver in a Chrysler PT Cruiser. If you're not familiar with that model, it has bucket seats in front, and space for three people in the back, as long as they are skinny. We had plenty of room in the front, but it is safe to say they were at least snug in the back! Our first stop was to a park nearby, which has a small lake and a playground. The boys piled out of my car and took two photos IN THE SNOW, one by the lake with a metal sculpture resembling a sea serpent/dragon, and one on the playground. I stayed in the car while one of the boys took pictures with his twin sister's camera. The piled back in the car and we headed to our next stop--the local branch of the public library. There, the boys posed with a giant teddy bear while reading books, and with a poster of Yoda with the caption, "Read--and the force will be with you."
The next stop was a nearby McDonalds for lunch and more photos; my son caught one of the members of the group in mid-sneeze, which was the source of much laughter. Then, we headed to Target. I should tell you that these guys were well-behaved, and for teen boys, fairly quiet. Once in Target, we headed to the toy department. They found Batman, Iron Man, and Hulk masks and a Captain America shield, and created a movie scene from a superhero movie there. I only had to say "excuse us" once to a mom and her daughter as we were there. Then we went to the entertainment section. My son, who has very definite tastes and dislikes Justin Bieber intensely, found a Bieber DVD and posed with it for their celebrity photo. I loved the creativity of these boys, and the comfort level they had with each other; everyone's ideas were considered, and no one was offended if theirs was not ultimately chosen. Our brief car rides were a combination of movie quotes, YouTube video reenactments, and singing--a teenage boy soundtrack with bass, tenor and falsetto voices, lots of laughter and comeraderie. It warmed my heart and entertained me at the same time. And it was almost constant; as verbal as I am, I couldn't get a word in edgewise.
We ended up back at church for one more photo from a creative camera angle, and then these guys who had been together for two hours sat and talked some more with some of the other groups. All of these kids are so at ease with each other--and so accepting. Power plays, gossip, and meanness were not existent. If you have a teenager, my prayer is that your son or daughter finds friends like the friends both of my sons have found; their friends accept them for who they are, and have the same faith and values. They are there in good times and bad, and when they get together it is a safe place. And they love to get together; my youngest son and his friends go to movies frequently (superhero, sci-fi teen boy fare) and get together for lunch and have had many birthday parties and other gatherings through the years. It's so good to know that they have good friends, and I love those boys as if they were my own. And the best part? We didn't have much to do with it. All we did was join a church with a great children's ministry and a great youth ministry. That's how our boys became friends--through all those shared experiences. And while our church has great programs, the best part of those ministries is the people who are there, serving the kids. Our youth pastor has been at our church since our oldest was in 8th grade; that boy is now out of college. That consistency, and the caliber of the adults serving there and their unconditional love has been the catalyst for great things for our kids. And for us as well. We know the parents of these kids--and they have been blessing to us. I haven't had so much fun in many years as I had today--and I saw God at work in who these young men are becoming.
The most special part of today was having a shared experience with my son and his friends--with a digital camera, cell phones, texting, Facebook and all of those 21st century methods--that was much like what I experienced years ago. It really is true--the more things change, the more they stay the same.
When we got there, the assistant youth pastor in charge gave us the rules (be safe, don't embarrass yourself or the church--the usual things said at an event like this) and then gave us a paper with the following list of pictures that we were supposed to obtain. In case you work with teens and need a great idea, here they are:
Adventure Time
Recess
Best Place to Study
Fictional Character
Favorite Restaurant
Best Hangout
Celebrity Photo
Movie Scene
Altitude
Very little description was given of the categories so that the groups could be creative. While I loved this activity as a kid, I have to tell you as an educator that this is exactly what employers are looking for in what they call "21st-century skills;" this activity required collaboration, creativity, problem-solving and time management in order to succeed. I love it when ideas are timeless! :)
My son ended up in a group with three other young men that he's known at least since elementary school. One of the boys was born twelve hours before him, and I grew up with his mother. So, I've had the great privilege of watching these friends bond and grow up through the years. They are just great guys--polite, smart, funny and, in general, everything that is the opposite of what you generally hear about teenage boys. Their first step was to look at the list, come up with ideas, and plan an itinerary. Then, we started on our great adventure.
Before I tell you about our first stop, I should tell you that it is Spring Break where we are. You may imagine Spring Break where you are being warm and conducive to outside activities, such as driving a group of boys around for a photo scavenger hunt. However, the weather today did not meet the standard. We are not in the polar regions or the Northeast, but it is not uncommon for us to get snow in January and February--and we had four snow days this year and in most of the surrounding school districts. March is a mixed bag in these parts--some years it's warm, and some years it's more like winter. Today we had big snowflakes coming down as we began our adventure with four teen boys, ranging in height from 5 feet, 8 inches tall to above 6 feet, with their 5 foot, 5 inch driver in a Chrysler PT Cruiser. If you're not familiar with that model, it has bucket seats in front, and space for three people in the back, as long as they are skinny. We had plenty of room in the front, but it is safe to say they were at least snug in the back! Our first stop was to a park nearby, which has a small lake and a playground. The boys piled out of my car and took two photos IN THE SNOW, one by the lake with a metal sculpture resembling a sea serpent/dragon, and one on the playground. I stayed in the car while one of the boys took pictures with his twin sister's camera. The piled back in the car and we headed to our next stop--the local branch of the public library. There, the boys posed with a giant teddy bear while reading books, and with a poster of Yoda with the caption, "Read--and the force will be with you."
The next stop was a nearby McDonalds for lunch and more photos; my son caught one of the members of the group in mid-sneeze, which was the source of much laughter. Then, we headed to Target. I should tell you that these guys were well-behaved, and for teen boys, fairly quiet. Once in Target, we headed to the toy department. They found Batman, Iron Man, and Hulk masks and a Captain America shield, and created a movie scene from a superhero movie there. I only had to say "excuse us" once to a mom and her daughter as we were there. Then we went to the entertainment section. My son, who has very definite tastes and dislikes Justin Bieber intensely, found a Bieber DVD and posed with it for their celebrity photo. I loved the creativity of these boys, and the comfort level they had with each other; everyone's ideas were considered, and no one was offended if theirs was not ultimately chosen. Our brief car rides were a combination of movie quotes, YouTube video reenactments, and singing--a teenage boy soundtrack with bass, tenor and falsetto voices, lots of laughter and comeraderie. It warmed my heart and entertained me at the same time. And it was almost constant; as verbal as I am, I couldn't get a word in edgewise.
We ended up back at church for one more photo from a creative camera angle, and then these guys who had been together for two hours sat and talked some more with some of the other groups. All of these kids are so at ease with each other--and so accepting. Power plays, gossip, and meanness were not existent. If you have a teenager, my prayer is that your son or daughter finds friends like the friends both of my sons have found; their friends accept them for who they are, and have the same faith and values. They are there in good times and bad, and when they get together it is a safe place. And they love to get together; my youngest son and his friends go to movies frequently (superhero, sci-fi teen boy fare) and get together for lunch and have had many birthday parties and other gatherings through the years. It's so good to know that they have good friends, and I love those boys as if they were my own. And the best part? We didn't have much to do with it. All we did was join a church with a great children's ministry and a great youth ministry. That's how our boys became friends--through all those shared experiences. And while our church has great programs, the best part of those ministries is the people who are there, serving the kids. Our youth pastor has been at our church since our oldest was in 8th grade; that boy is now out of college. That consistency, and the caliber of the adults serving there and their unconditional love has been the catalyst for great things for our kids. And for us as well. We know the parents of these kids--and they have been blessing to us. I haven't had so much fun in many years as I had today--and I saw God at work in who these young men are becoming.
The most special part of today was having a shared experience with my son and his friends--with a digital camera, cell phones, texting, Facebook and all of those 21st century methods--that was much like what I experienced years ago. It really is true--the more things change, the more they stay the same.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
The Present in the Past, and the Past in the Present
Now, don't start worrying that I've developed early-onset dementia by my title. It will all be made clear as I tell you about my day. And, yes, dear reader, you may have noticed that this is my second post today, and that my first was pretty long. I'm on Spring Break, in a house full of males, so I have more words in my head than usual.
I found the present in the past today. My parents are both still alive and live about 20 minutes from my house, in the same house where I spent my late junior high to single adult years. They are both getting older, and I am finding it more necessary to go over there and check on them as the years pass. After I visited them, I took a route back towards home that I hadn't traveled in quite awhile. It was a bit nostalgic, as we passed by the school where both of our boys attended grade school (and beyond--but that's another post) and past a route I've taken many times for many reasons through the years. Every route that you take often has landmarks--and this one did as well. My landmarks are often stores, schools, restaurants--things like that. I was expecting to find the past on that road--but something amazing happened instead. My landmarks--many of them--were gone, or changed completely. A school where I substitute taught about 8 years ago and passed often was now a senior adult living community. They had completely torn the building down and rebuilt the facility. It was a little jarring, at first, to expect one thing and see another, but I was grateful that at least the closed school had been replaced by something useful. A favorite restaurant had morphed into a pharmacy. A teacher supply store was closed. A flower shop was a credit union. I now understood that old saying that you can't go home....because the home you remembered really isn't there. I was just grateful that many of my landmarks were at least still useful. I passed by a house where a friend from a former church used to live--and wondered if they still lived there. Change is often so gradual that we don't realize it--until we go to an old neighborhood, or see a child we've not seen in several years. And, yet, I'm grateful in many ways that I have changed. I'm not who I was 10, 20 or 30 years ago--and, in many ways the changes have been good--and that gives me hope that in 10, 20 or 30 more years that there will still be good changes. That's the work of the Holy Spirit--and I so desperately need it! So, the present wasn't so bad, after all.
I drove home, and then drove to my beauty salon. I used to go to the cheap salon and get a different stylist every time, but I didn't like it. I had a few less-than-desireable haircuts, but what I really missed was the realtionship. I've finally found a place I like that is a) affordable, which makes my husband happy, and b) not far from home. Most importantly, I've found a great stylist; she's talkative enough to be interesting, but not so much that I'm worried about how my hair will turn out. And my hair always looks good after she's done. I trust her so much that I recently let her color out the gray hair--and I love it! I walked into the salon and sat down, having to wait quite awhile for my haircut. (My stylist is always busy--because she's great and has a wonderful personality. She asks about my family and is lots of fun!) While I was waiting, a man came to the counter and said he and his son needed haircuts. They both had the same name; to protect their names in the unlikely event that they have entered my blogosphere, their names were Nate (dad) and Nathan (son). Nathan was about two years old with the most darling blue eyes and tousled hair.
The first thing I noticed about him was how well he obeyed his mom. I'm a teacher, and I can tell you that when a kid minds anymore, it's worth noticing! He went to the edge of the carpet, and when mom said in a firm voice, "you'd better not go any farther," he came back by her. He played with one of those toys that has wires and colored beads, and you can manipulate the beads all over the wires. He reminded me so much of one of our boys--and to protect them from embarassment, I won't tell you which one. Our boys are both in high school and/or college, but at that moment, I found the past in the present. Little Nathan was playing with a toy just like what my boys loved to play with, and he had such a cute personality. After I noticed his compliance, he held his hands out and said, "Where's Daddy?" in the adorable accent of a two-year-old. I was again transported back to when one of our boys would always want everyone in the room, asking where they were if they went anywhere. Then, this inquisitive two-year-old began to ask "What's that?" about everything around him; cars outside, the geese outside, which he deemed to be "ducks," and even an older lady's cane. Again, just like my boy. I was completely captivated, and began a conversation with him. When I left to go to the shampoo bowl, I had to sit and wait and my little friend did the cutest thing; he patted the chair where I had been sitting as if to ask me to come back, and then held out a magazine, as if to be more inviting. He was such a charmer, just like my little boy back then. His mother even called him a flirt--which my boy was called as well. It warmed my heart to see the juxtaposition of the past in the present in this way, and I went on with my appointment. All this time Nate was getting a pretty spiffy haircut--shaved up the sides, spikey on top, the works. Nate was on the other side of the salon from me, but I caught a glance at him when I was waiting for my stylist. Nathan was aptly named, because he looked just like his dad. About halfway through my haircut, things changed drastically. We heard a plaintive wail of "Mama! Mama! " accompanied with crying, and, of course tears. My little friend was having a turn in the barber's chair, and he was not happy! My stylist's initial reaction was hysterical--she replied "another satisfied customer!" I smiled at that moment--not to make fun of my little friend, but because I now COULD. You see, I was once the mama with the little man in the chair who cried, screamed and absolutely HATED haircuts. My little man had to sit on my lap, and we tried everything from physically keeping him in the chair to bribing him to get him through the ordeal of a haircut from the time of his first haircut until he was about four. The problem with a toddler is that you can't make them understand why they have to do things. You can't reason with them. It's really awful when they don't like something and you have to make them do it--whether it's taking medicine, going to bed, potty training, or a haircut. I remember thinking thoughts at the time like "they must think I'm a terrible parent!" and "when will this end?" It was stressful, humiliating, and sad, and I felt like a failure. But now, I smiled, and I realized that most people in there were smiling as well--especially after the haircut was done. We all realized that those things happen when you have little people, and that the kid wasn't a brat--he just didn't understand. We all knew that the stylist was doing his best, as were mom and dad and even my little friend, and that it would all be OK in a few minutes. And, it was. Nathan appeared with a darling haircut and a few tears, and a ring pop from the stylist. As he was leaving, he saw me and waved goodbye. Then he said, "Goodbye, lady!" And so, there was a happy ending.
As I reflect on my day, I have a few thoughts. First, we only have a limited amount of time for opportunities around us. Just like the landscape of a well-traveled route in my past changed, the world is constantly changing. We need to make the most of the opportunties presented to us--because there is no guarantee that they will be there tomorrow. Second, time really does change your perspective. I remember the stress of having a toddler--and an elementary school student--and a middle school student--and soccer games, school projects, and a host of other past life experiences. At the time, many things seem overwhelming and larger than life; but, with time, we gain perspective. If you are a young mom with little kids, let me just say that you have the toughest job in the world--and at the same time the most precious one. When your little people don't understand and throw a fit, remember that their behavior is not directed at you. They don't understand, or can't communicate how they feel yet. They love you, and they need you to hang on and ride out the storm and love them unconditionally before, during and after it. I also smiled at my little friend--because sometimes his cries were more demanding. He still said mama's name, but occasionally in the tone of voice that seemed to ask, "Why aren't you doing anything about this?" Sometimes, we approach God in the same way--we cry to him, sometimes out of desperation, and sometimes with a demand, as if to question why He's not answering. I'm so thankful that He hears us, and knows when to step in, and when to recognize we just aren't mature yet.
Some day, you may be somewhere and run into a child that reminds you of yours, and at that moment you will smile. It may be 15 or 20 years later, but that smile will come, if you look for it. And, if you are an older woman, remember what it was like if you had children and encourage those young gals all you can. Pray for them. And, most importantly, model grace, forgiveness and love in your life. My sweet in-laws adopted a family in their church when they were in their late 50s or early 60s, before their own grandchildren arrived. The family had twin boys and needed extra help after their delivery. My in-laws loved those boys and their parents, and consider them as much grandsons as their biological grandsons. We embroidered shirts with the names of the grandkids for them one year--and the twins names had to be included! It was a great gift for that young family--and also for my in-laws. Those twin boys are now grown and married, and still the loving relationship remains. I think this is a great example for us all--we need each other. The Bible encourages us older gals to mentor younger gals--to cultivate relationships and pass on what we know. That's sorely lacking in our culture, and we all need it. That, and a smile. Because the past can sometimes help us in the present.
Love someone today. Actually, where I am, it's tomorrow. Good night!..---Your Warrior Princess
I found the present in the past today. My parents are both still alive and live about 20 minutes from my house, in the same house where I spent my late junior high to single adult years. They are both getting older, and I am finding it more necessary to go over there and check on them as the years pass. After I visited them, I took a route back towards home that I hadn't traveled in quite awhile. It was a bit nostalgic, as we passed by the school where both of our boys attended grade school (and beyond--but that's another post) and past a route I've taken many times for many reasons through the years. Every route that you take often has landmarks--and this one did as well. My landmarks are often stores, schools, restaurants--things like that. I was expecting to find the past on that road--but something amazing happened instead. My landmarks--many of them--were gone, or changed completely. A school where I substitute taught about 8 years ago and passed often was now a senior adult living community. They had completely torn the building down and rebuilt the facility. It was a little jarring, at first, to expect one thing and see another, but I was grateful that at least the closed school had been replaced by something useful. A favorite restaurant had morphed into a pharmacy. A teacher supply store was closed. A flower shop was a credit union. I now understood that old saying that you can't go home....because the home you remembered really isn't there. I was just grateful that many of my landmarks were at least still useful. I passed by a house where a friend from a former church used to live--and wondered if they still lived there. Change is often so gradual that we don't realize it--until we go to an old neighborhood, or see a child we've not seen in several years. And, yet, I'm grateful in many ways that I have changed. I'm not who I was 10, 20 or 30 years ago--and, in many ways the changes have been good--and that gives me hope that in 10, 20 or 30 more years that there will still be good changes. That's the work of the Holy Spirit--and I so desperately need it! So, the present wasn't so bad, after all.
The first thing I noticed about him was how well he obeyed his mom. I'm a teacher, and I can tell you that when a kid minds anymore, it's worth noticing! He went to the edge of the carpet, and when mom said in a firm voice, "you'd better not go any farther," he came back by her. He played with one of those toys that has wires and colored beads, and you can manipulate the beads all over the wires. He reminded me so much of one of our boys--and to protect them from embarassment, I won't tell you which one. Our boys are both in high school and/or college, but at that moment, I found the past in the present. Little Nathan was playing with a toy just like what my boys loved to play with, and he had such a cute personality. After I noticed his compliance, he held his hands out and said, "Where's Daddy?" in the adorable accent of a two-year-old. I was again transported back to when one of our boys would always want everyone in the room, asking where they were if they went anywhere. Then, this inquisitive two-year-old began to ask "What's that?" about everything around him; cars outside, the geese outside, which he deemed to be "ducks," and even an older lady's cane. Again, just like my boy. I was completely captivated, and began a conversation with him. When I left to go to the shampoo bowl, I had to sit and wait and my little friend did the cutest thing; he patted the chair where I had been sitting as if to ask me to come back, and then held out a magazine, as if to be more inviting. He was such a charmer, just like my little boy back then. His mother even called him a flirt--which my boy was called as well. It warmed my heart to see the juxtaposition of the past in the present in this way, and I went on with my appointment. All this time Nate was getting a pretty spiffy haircut--shaved up the sides, spikey on top, the works. Nate was on the other side of the salon from me, but I caught a glance at him when I was waiting for my stylist. Nathan was aptly named, because he looked just like his dad. About halfway through my haircut, things changed drastically. We heard a plaintive wail of "Mama! Mama! " accompanied with crying, and, of course tears. My little friend was having a turn in the barber's chair, and he was not happy! My stylist's initial reaction was hysterical--she replied "another satisfied customer!" I smiled at that moment--not to make fun of my little friend, but because I now COULD. You see, I was once the mama with the little man in the chair who cried, screamed and absolutely HATED haircuts. My little man had to sit on my lap, and we tried everything from physically keeping him in the chair to bribing him to get him through the ordeal of a haircut from the time of his first haircut until he was about four. The problem with a toddler is that you can't make them understand why they have to do things. You can't reason with them. It's really awful when they don't like something and you have to make them do it--whether it's taking medicine, going to bed, potty training, or a haircut. I remember thinking thoughts at the time like "they must think I'm a terrible parent!" and "when will this end?" It was stressful, humiliating, and sad, and I felt like a failure. But now, I smiled, and I realized that most people in there were smiling as well--especially after the haircut was done. We all realized that those things happen when you have little people, and that the kid wasn't a brat--he just didn't understand. We all knew that the stylist was doing his best, as were mom and dad and even my little friend, and that it would all be OK in a few minutes. And, it was. Nathan appeared with a darling haircut and a few tears, and a ring pop from the stylist. As he was leaving, he saw me and waved goodbye. Then he said, "Goodbye, lady!" And so, there was a happy ending.
As I reflect on my day, I have a few thoughts. First, we only have a limited amount of time for opportunities around us. Just like the landscape of a well-traveled route in my past changed, the world is constantly changing. We need to make the most of the opportunties presented to us--because there is no guarantee that they will be there tomorrow. Second, time really does change your perspective. I remember the stress of having a toddler--and an elementary school student--and a middle school student--and soccer games, school projects, and a host of other past life experiences. At the time, many things seem overwhelming and larger than life; but, with time, we gain perspective. If you are a young mom with little kids, let me just say that you have the toughest job in the world--and at the same time the most precious one. When your little people don't understand and throw a fit, remember that their behavior is not directed at you. They don't understand, or can't communicate how they feel yet. They love you, and they need you to hang on and ride out the storm and love them unconditionally before, during and after it. I also smiled at my little friend--because sometimes his cries were more demanding. He still said mama's name, but occasionally in the tone of voice that seemed to ask, "Why aren't you doing anything about this?" Sometimes, we approach God in the same way--we cry to him, sometimes out of desperation, and sometimes with a demand, as if to question why He's not answering. I'm so thankful that He hears us, and knows when to step in, and when to recognize we just aren't mature yet.
Some day, you may be somewhere and run into a child that reminds you of yours, and at that moment you will smile. It may be 15 or 20 years later, but that smile will come, if you look for it. And, if you are an older woman, remember what it was like if you had children and encourage those young gals all you can. Pray for them. And, most importantly, model grace, forgiveness and love in your life. My sweet in-laws adopted a family in their church when they were in their late 50s or early 60s, before their own grandchildren arrived. The family had twin boys and needed extra help after their delivery. My in-laws loved those boys and their parents, and consider them as much grandsons as their biological grandsons. We embroidered shirts with the names of the grandkids for them one year--and the twins names had to be included! It was a great gift for that young family--and also for my in-laws. Those twin boys are now grown and married, and still the loving relationship remains. I think this is a great example for us all--we need each other. The Bible encourages us older gals to mentor younger gals--to cultivate relationships and pass on what we know. That's sorely lacking in our culture, and we all need it. That, and a smile. Because the past can sometimes help us in the present.
Love someone today. Actually, where I am, it's tomorrow. Good night!..---Your Warrior Princess
A Beginning....of Sorts
Well, here I am in the brand new world of blogging. I've thought about it for a long time. I have so many words that roll around in my head, and with a house full of males, I don't always feel it's fair to share it with them. By now, I have learned to recognize the awkward silence and note the eyes rolling back, as if to say, "Mom (Linda), I just can't listen anymore. My capacity for words is less than yours and I've already heard and spoken all I can process for today." They are all sweet, loving guys who wouldn't hurt my feelings (but would readily tease), and I want to be fair to them. So, now, you, dear reader, get to read them!
I haven't started a blog earlier, because I know that words can be easily misinterpreted. The Bible even says that "in a multitude of words there is great iniquity," so I want to be careful. Especially since we live in an age where words are twisted and misused for all kinds of reasons. So, let me just give it to you straight: what I write is what I feel is important--and things I've learned along the way. I'm not perfect. I may offend someone--but I certainly don't mean to do so. I don't have a political agenda. I know who I will vote for after looking at what the candidates say and seeing if that matches what I believe--but I don't belittle those who disagree. You will find that I am passionate about many things--but I also have a deep respect and compassion for others. I know we come from different backgrounds, and that there are many ways to look at many things. All I ask is that you show me the same respect when you read my blog. I am an only child, and I think that gives me a distinctive view--I've always been able to look at both sides of an issue, even if I disagree with someone. I truly love people. I don't just see issues as a way to manipulate people to my way of thinking; I see them as ways to solve real problems that happen in a world that is broken from ages past to people who are hurt and struggling.
The most important thing you can know about me is that I am a follower of Jesus Christ. Not perfect, by any means, and still trying to figure a lot of things out. You may come from a background where Christianity was rigid, impersonal, or even mean. My Jesus is none of those; he died on a cross because of His love--for me, for you, and for everyone. His love asks us first to accept what He has done for the awful cancer that lives inside of us--sin. Sin is what separates us from God; it is our selfish desire for control in a world that is out of control. But the paradox is that sin is what makes the world--and us--out of control. God did not desire for us to live in the mess we find ourselves in; it was not part of his original plan. So, he sent Jesus to die in the most excruciatingly horrible way possible--a Roman cross--so that you and I could have a relationship with Him. My faith is not a bunch of do's and don'ts, but a relationship with Christ. Because of that relationship, I want to do what He says, and to avoid things that He says are destructive for me. And that's why I want you to have the same relationship. Jesus asks you to do some things to have a relationship with Him, He asks you first to admit that you have sinned. I did this fairly early in life---as I recently said to a mom at my school about her son, I didn't try to find trouble, but it certainly did find me! I knew right away that I had a problem. And the problem was sin. I wanted my way; many times, I still do. But the problem is that if I try my way, it rarely works out. I usually make a bigger mess. Sin, like many cancers, or AIDS, is incurable by our own efforts. So, Jesus asks you to believe that he is the cure--that his death on the cross and resurrection paid the penalty for your sin. What's the penalty? Death--physical and spiritual. You must believe that Jesus was the Son of God and was able to conquer sin and death. Now, I don't have all the answers to why bad things happen or every discrepancy in the Bible, but I do know this; Jesus has made my life worth living. Jesus has answered my prayers,and has blessed me far above what I deserve. He is the source of everything in my life that is good, and my strength during difficult times. After this, Jesus asks you to let him control your life. I have found this is the best way--although at times I forget, and then things go terribly wrong. This doesn't mean you won't make mistakes, or that your life will be blissfully peaceful with no trouble--but it means that you always have a resource for the battles in life and a Friend who will always listen. If you don't have this relationship, talk to Him in prayer and invite Him in today; nothing would make me happier. And, if you are a fellow follower of Jesus, you are a princess (or prince) in His kingdom, and I'd love to have you along for the ride! The journey is never boring, and Jesus shows me amazing things so often.
I haven't started a blog earlier, because I know that words can be easily misinterpreted. The Bible even says that "in a multitude of words there is great iniquity," so I want to be careful. Especially since we live in an age where words are twisted and misused for all kinds of reasons. So, let me just give it to you straight: what I write is what I feel is important--and things I've learned along the way. I'm not perfect. I may offend someone--but I certainly don't mean to do so. I don't have a political agenda. I know who I will vote for after looking at what the candidates say and seeing if that matches what I believe--but I don't belittle those who disagree. You will find that I am passionate about many things--but I also have a deep respect and compassion for others. I know we come from different backgrounds, and that there are many ways to look at many things. All I ask is that you show me the same respect when you read my blog. I am an only child, and I think that gives me a distinctive view--I've always been able to look at both sides of an issue, even if I disagree with someone. I truly love people. I don't just see issues as a way to manipulate people to my way of thinking; I see them as ways to solve real problems that happen in a world that is broken from ages past to people who are hurt and struggling.
The most important thing you can know about me is that I am a follower of Jesus Christ. Not perfect, by any means, and still trying to figure a lot of things out. You may come from a background where Christianity was rigid, impersonal, or even mean. My Jesus is none of those; he died on a cross because of His love--for me, for you, and for everyone. His love asks us first to accept what He has done for the awful cancer that lives inside of us--sin. Sin is what separates us from God; it is our selfish desire for control in a world that is out of control. But the paradox is that sin is what makes the world--and us--out of control. God did not desire for us to live in the mess we find ourselves in; it was not part of his original plan. So, he sent Jesus to die in the most excruciatingly horrible way possible--a Roman cross--so that you and I could have a relationship with Him. My faith is not a bunch of do's and don'ts, but a relationship with Christ. Because of that relationship, I want to do what He says, and to avoid things that He says are destructive for me. And that's why I want you to have the same relationship. Jesus asks you to do some things to have a relationship with Him, He asks you first to admit that you have sinned. I did this fairly early in life---as I recently said to a mom at my school about her son, I didn't try to find trouble, but it certainly did find me! I knew right away that I had a problem. And the problem was sin. I wanted my way; many times, I still do. But the problem is that if I try my way, it rarely works out. I usually make a bigger mess. Sin, like many cancers, or AIDS, is incurable by our own efforts. So, Jesus asks you to believe that he is the cure--that his death on the cross and resurrection paid the penalty for your sin. What's the penalty? Death--physical and spiritual. You must believe that Jesus was the Son of God and was able to conquer sin and death. Now, I don't have all the answers to why bad things happen or every discrepancy in the Bible, but I do know this; Jesus has made my life worth living. Jesus has answered my prayers,and has blessed me far above what I deserve. He is the source of everything in my life that is good, and my strength during difficult times. After this, Jesus asks you to let him control your life. I have found this is the best way--although at times I forget, and then things go terribly wrong. This doesn't mean you won't make mistakes, or that your life will be blissfully peaceful with no trouble--but it means that you always have a resource for the battles in life and a Friend who will always listen. If you don't have this relationship, talk to Him in prayer and invite Him in today; nothing would make me happier. And, if you are a fellow follower of Jesus, you are a princess (or prince) in His kingdom, and I'd love to have you along for the ride! The journey is never boring, and Jesus shows me amazing things so often.
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